The Voice of Experience

When I think back, I went through stages of being agitated, confused and wanting control. At that time, I did not have the cognitive or emotional capacity to understand the word coma or the extent of my injuries.

The story begins January 26, 1983. Twenty four hours post open heart surgery, I went into cardiac arrest and a deep coma which lasted for one month. By the second month, I was able to respond and follow commands.

Although I knew I was in the hospital, I did not know which one. I was unable to recall events immediately prior and after the surgery. I did recognize friends, family and physicians that I interacted with prior to the surgery. However, I had no motor functioning and was unable to speak. I would open my mouth and nothing came out.

I do not know if it was agitation, confusion or frustration. Even though I am petite and do not weight that much, It was all dead weight. It took two nurses to get me out of bed. I would get restless and uncooperative. They had a very difficult time with me. The staff would put me in a wheelchair and leave me near the Nurses' Station. I would get very upset and if anything was close, I would throw it on the floor. Thinking back now, all my muscles were so tight, it probably hurt to sit up. Also, it may have been too much stimulation for me.

I would try to pull out my IV tube. They finally had to restrain me. That got me even more agitated. I am not sure why that happened. Maybe loss of control, feeling even more confined and frustrated.

When the speech therapist came into my room, she brought all these communication devices. I would get very agitated, uncooperative, and throw the objects on the floor. I would then point to my mouth. It was my only way of communication that I wanted to speak. I was labeled uncooperative and she refused to work with me. In reality, she was not astute enough to look below the surface or even assess if I was capable of making sounds. I was.

My one suggestion to ALL PROFESSIONALS: Look below the surface and assess each case separately. Talk to the family. Despite the patient's confusion, there may be a logical reason for the behavior. Be flexible in your thinking and your treatment.