Overcoming and coping with the physical obstacles associated with sustaining a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) can be the easy part. A more difficult, complex and existential issue is asking "who is the new person"? My name remains the same. However, in many significant ways I am different. I am not talking about concrete issues (gross and fine motor coordination, speech and language).

As a result of physical or cognitive limitations, you may be forced to slow down, depend on devices or people, organize and preplan in a way that was foreign before the trauma. If you are lucky enough to go back to school or work, guaranteed it will not be in the same capacity or without modification.

When confronted with this reality, an identity crisis surfaces. What does this mean and say about me as a person?

I . Am I still a competent adult, if I have to depend on others?

For individuals like myself, who were always very independent, maybe to a fault, this becomes an issue. To answer my own question, the road to independence for a TBI survivor comes from the ability to accept assistance from others.

2. Part of our identity comes from what we do on a daily basis. If I can not go to school, work, or perform domestic duties the way I did before, does mean I am less of a person? The answer is NO. Take a realistic appraisal of what you can do. Devote all your physical and mental energy to achieving maximum success in these areas. Even though it may be different, achieving success is the first step towards a positive self image in the framework of a new identity.

3. If I can not physically keep up with peers, siblings, or colleagues, does that mean that I give up? The answer is NO. Only part of our identity and self image comes from our physical abilities and attributes. Make sure you look below the surface.

4. If I perceive other people acting demeaning, rude or nasty, does that mean I get depressed and develop a negative self image? The answer is NO. It is my belief that most people are good. They may be unsure of how to react and behave in difficult situations.

5. If I am angry at what happened, does that mean I remain angry and take it out on others? The answer is NO. Take all that negative energy and focus on restoring your own abilities to reach your potential.

6. Does my life and attitude have to be negative as a result of my injury and its effects? The answer is NO. Do not think in terms of positive and negative. Different does not necessarily imply negative. Try and look for a silver lining. Speaking from personal experience, I now realize my inner strength and courage. Prior to the trauma, I had no conception of my resolve and inner resources.

7. As a result of life changes, do I get overwhelmed and focus on what I can not do? The answer is NO. In general, think about your assets. Reassess your thinking. Think in terms what I can do this week, this month, etc. that I could not do before.

8. If I can not take care of my children or spouse the way I did before, does that make less of me as a person or mean that I am no longer a parent or spouse? The answer is NO. Interactions and family bonding and dynamics are much deeper than a brain injury. It can not be measured in concrete terms.

9. If it takes me longer to perform a task, does that mean that it Doesn't count or that it isn't good enough? The answer is NO. Just focus on achieving the goal.

To answer the question, who am I?

I am still the same person. A loving caring partner, daughter sibling and aunt. I am still a psychologist. Although my career took an unplanned different path, no one took away my degree or the three letters after my name.

While you may not have had control over the events leading up to the TRAUMA, you can control the development and perception of the new you. Hopefully, you can find the new you and like this new person. The above is the thinking, soul searching and emotional conflict that finally evolved in to the new me.

My wish is that TBI survivors and family members can identify and benefit from the above issues and answers.