FAMILIES

AND

FAMILY DYNAMICS

Kathy Greenberg, Ph.D

Think of the family as a machine type system, much like an automobile. You need every part working efficiently for maximum performance. Every member is a part of that system. Although unspoken, we go through life and our daily routines with this in mind. Life changes with a traumatic brain injury. This system does not function efficiently, or can break down completely.

You may feel that instead of spouse, you have another child. In addition to taking care of a spouse, you may be playing the role of "single parent". There are financial concerns over the loss of income and medical bills.

You may be put in the position of taking care of a child, both physically and financially, that chronologically should be taken care of themselves.

ALL the attention is focused on the "sick person". Other family members (spouses, children, siblings) may feel neglected or abandoned. In addition, different coping styles can lead to more stress among significant others and caretakers.

The above can led to what I call THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER.

  1. ANGRY

    2.

    Why me? Why my family? Every individual and family seems to be leading a "normal life, except mine".

  2. LOSS

    3.

    You may feel you lost a spouse, parent, child or sibling. They are alive in a physical sense, but they are not the same person.

  3. DEPRESSED

    4.

    With typical medical problems, given the appropriate intervention and time, everything goes back to "normal".

    A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

    Everyone involved will have to learn to adapt to a new person and new life. There can be a certain level of denial and depression when this realization HITS HOME.

  4. BURN OUT

    5.

    You may be physically and emotionally on over load. Possibly, you are not eating and sleeping properly, easily agitated, short fused with those around you. Everything seems TOO MUCH to handle.

  5. ISOLATED

    6.

    You may want to build a wall around yourself and others, feeling and thinking that you are the only person/family having to cope with this kind of problem.

  6. CONFUSED

    7.

    With many problems there is a "SCRIPT" with useful guidelines. As each case is unique, there is no cookbook approach.

     THERE ARE NO EASY ANSWERS TO THIS COMPLEX SITUATION.

     MY MESSAGE IS THAT THESE FEELINGS ARE COMMON AND VERY APPROPRIATE!