[ Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
From: Wendy
Date: 04 Sep 2001
Time: 19:09:49
Remote Name: 66.31.64.151
I am so sad I don't know what to do. Mom has deteriorated in this past year. After her disabiling stroke in Aug 2000, she could no longer live alone. Sis flew up, took her to Florida for 6 months, never saw a dr once or changed her health insurance. They spoiled her as in letting her make all her healthcare desicions, which were NONE.She was blind with no conception of night or day, and they let her sit in a 24/7 90 degree angle, no bed, no PT. In 99 mom was misdiagnosed with brain cancer, read only from a CT, previous history of BC. She was given 4-6 months to live. My sis flew up to make a will 50-50, and put moms condo in both our names.She began her 20 doses of whole brain radiation, and a few boosts to the "tumor". Months later I took Mom for an MRI, and they found out it was the stroke that was radiated. She never had brain cancer, now she has necrosis of the brain. She lived in Florida for 6 months, no healthcare.Then she came to live with my young family, sisters kids are grown, I'm 42 she is 51, we've been living apart for 35 years, her being in Florida, Mom in Mass.
On April 1, 2001 Mom came, i had homecare in here every day. The chaos began soon after. My sis who has poa, started sending hatemail and accusing me of complete LIES, which can all be proven. She came and picked up my mom on June 6, 2001, I had to have my neighbor walk mom out. She made terrible accusations, all untrue. Now, in the last few months, my sister has brainwashed my mom into disowning me and my children. In the first few weeks of June, mom would call up, somewhat lucid and say how angry she was at me, for something riduculous that I never did, she was being coached by sis. Then more calls came accusing me of using moms credit card, never did, it can be proved. Then they had my mom leave messages saying "goodbye forever, I'm disowning you forever, you are making me mentally ill and I;m throwing up every night because of you".Even with this proof, the abuse hotline could not help!! It boggles my mind .Mom cannot dial the phone.
To me, this is the most sinful act a sibling can do, my poor mom is being exploited, she would be so ashamed, if she was in her right mind this never would of happened. My sis planned it all out of greed and hatred (which she has admitted to hating me for years).She wants to cut me out of a supposed medical malpractice settlement in the end. Everyone sees what is going on. I called the abuse hotline, sent them messages, hate e-mail, I documented this alienation, isolation, and brainwashing. Well, guess what? My mom is eating, supposedly "competent", and wants to be there. The supervisor felt so bad, but it was out of his hands, but he sees what my sis has done.Too many case loads, but many cases "rip him up".
What do I do? A lawyer to retain a guardianship would cost $5000 for the retainer, and 2 independent DR.s would administer a test. It will be a family war. I just don't know if the stress of this on my own family and myself is worth it, my mom's brain will never return to normal. It is almost all white matter.I've already lost 35 pounds from stress and abuse from my sister. The final straw came a week ago when her husband, now involved, called our home, once again, and this time accused us of leaving mom with no health insurance! Even the supervisor knew it was a lie. How can they be allowed to lie to my mom who has dementia? They finally got mom insurance a month after she got to Florida, and hired a cna, so sis could work. She told me that, the last time she watched mom for 6 months, she put her job on hold, and it would never happen again. At least they did something this time.
I had homecare from day 2 of moms 2 month stay with me, it took the pt a 4 weeks to get mom back in a straight position, and her anus was halfway out from not moving for months. Now, my sister can lie, and I can't protect myself?? Mom has no dignity or spiritulism, they took it away, Mom is her trophie. I also took her for her mammogram which she needed, as there was another tumor growing that they knew about, and my sister never obtained insurance.
Help, does anyone have any advice. My moms best friend, who won't speak to mom anymore because of all the vial, destructive lies that were being told. She tells me to bury mom. Her mind is not there anymore, this is not the mother I loved and have known. But this pain is eating me up, the mourning feels like forever, I'm so sad and confused on what to do. I would like to get someone else in control of my moms health and finances. Help, am I missing any steps that I should know? I've been in Mass with mom 68 of her 71 years, sis has lived in Florida. Should I meet with this attorney in Florida, or should I let go and contest the new will, if a settlement comes in the future, and lose there too?? Help! I need advice, I know what elder abuse can entail, this form is not the norm, but I have the truth and proof on my side!! Thanks for listening Wendy