As a Parent and Caregiver of a Traumatic Brain Injured Survivor, Learning To Let Go

Welcome to the TBI-HELP Live Chat

Today's topic is: "As a Parent and Caregiver of a Traumatic Brain Injured Survivor, Learning To Let Go."

Our Guest is: Jean Dowling Plante, RN, Caregiver

[19:04:05] mod: Welcome. Tonight it is our guest speaker is Mrs. Jean Plante. Mrs. Plant is a mother of a traumatic brain injured survivor. Welcome Mrs. Plante..
[19:05:16] mrsplante: Thank you for inviting me, I hope to share with you...
[19:06:21] mod: Rail: How soon after the shock of becoming a caregiver did the "burden" of giving care set in?
[19:07:39] mrsplante: The decision aspect of giving care was immediate- I just had to act & make decisions immediately... The "burden" set in right away I was faced with life & death decisions...
[19:09:22] mod: Were your decisions all medical and how did you separate your emotions during this time?..
[19:12:12] mrsplante: It was hard to separate the two-they were intertwined...
[19:12:51] mod: Can you please elaborate on this?..
[19:16:42] mrsplante: Yes. on the one hand there was my baby who was dreadfully injured,& all the pain had to be pushed to one side to allow for the correct decisions to be made...
[19:17:11] mod: Logan: Could you explain how it felt when you knew that you would need to become a caregiver?..
[19:17:43] mrsplante: It was very difficult to prioritize which injuries were more severe and needed to be dealt with more immediately... Yes. I absolutely felt that the staff strongly identified, and my knowing them through my own professional experience helped this...
[19:21:52] mod: Rail: How did you become a caregiver-What was the incident that lead to the TBI?..
[19:23:04] mrsplante: My son was hit by a van while riding his bicycle home from work...
[19:24:05] mod: How old was he and how long ago did this occur?
[19:25:16] mrsplante: Thirteen years ago, he was 27 ..
[19:26:14] mod: Logan: Could you explain how your family and you became adjusted to the caregiver role?..
[19:28:23] mrsplante: It was an expansion of my parental & professional roles. Both his sister an MD, & myself an RN were well aware of the caretakers role..
[19:30:13] mod: Putting the profession aside, how did you deal with this situation as a mother?..
[19:32:10] mrsplante: Shute, the difficulties Bob faces include total blindness in his left eye, decreased sensation on his left side in his arms and legs, no sense of smell, decreased range of motion in his left hip, knee, and cognitive challenges as a result ..
[19:32:55] mod: Susan: I think no matter how much professional training, it doesn't prepare one for being a caregiver of a child, even an adult child.
[19:34:31] mod: Shute: How has being a caregiver changes your life and the life of your family? Did you receive much help from your extended family?..
[19:37:01] mrsplante: Susan, being a nurse & being a parent for me meant trying to integrate these two roles in a decisive manner. But nothing prepared me for seeing my son in that terrible situation...
[19:38:36] mod: After the accident and rehabilitation, what is he doing now?..
[19:40:08] mrsplante: After the accident & rehab, Bob went back to school to become a physical therapist... He felt that with his experience of having undergone such a traumatic accident he could relate to what others were going through and would be able to make a huge difference in the lives of others; the patients and their families...
[19:44:45] mod: Amy: Does he work with TBI patients?..
[19:46:00] mod: Amy: did he have a hard time in school?..
[19:49:19] mrsplante: So, Amy it was really a question of one step at a time - again just like his physical rehab. And he does work with TBI patients; He is a physical therapist at Jamaica Hospital on their TBI unit...
[19:49:22] mod: At what point did you "Let go"?..
[19:50:07] mrsplante: There wasn't one "letting go" It was a series ... Which began when I saw him in the ER & realized the extent of his injuries. It was a question of what would be best for BOB; I didn't pray for him to 'get better", I didn't pray for him to die rather than live on in such pain, my focus and prayers were "whatever is best for Bob" ...
[19:53:50] mod: Shute: What effects did the caretaking process have on your family relationships?..
[19:57:44] mod: Amy: do you notice any difference on your son (personality) after the TBI?..
[20:00:17] mrsplante: Yes. he's tried on a new self and has become a better person. He has incorporated a sense of humor, a sunny disposition, & an appreciative outlook on life..
[20:01:29] mod: Well I see that our session is just about over. I want to thank Mrs. Plante for a wonderful session and I invite her back again. Before I sign off for this evening, I will appreciate it if you would be kind enough to go back to the Chat and Discuss page and answer the question if the day and time of this session is good and if not please indicate which day and time would better suit you. Thank you have a wonderful week and be safe! Good night.
[20:03:32] mrsplante: Thank you and goodnight ....